GET A TIGER BLOOD SHIRT OR HAT HERE
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
"I probably took more than anybody could survive. ... I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. ... I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
"It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."
"You've read about the goddesses, come on. They're an international sensation. These are my girlfriends. These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart. ... It's a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It's like an organic union of the hearts."
"I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer -- I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero."
"I mean, what's not to love? Especially when you see how I party man, it's epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, just look like droopy-eyed, armless children."
"They'll wake up one day and realize how cool dad is. And, you know, signs all the checks on the front, not the back. And you know, we need him and we need his wisdom and his bitchin'-ness."
"I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I'm extremely old-fashioned. I'm a nobleman. I'm chivalrous."
"I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself."
"I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind, and unlearned 22 years of fiction ... the fiction of AA. It's a silly book written by a broken-down fool."
"I just don't do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."
"Well, I mean, first of all come Wednesday morning they're gonna rename it Charlie Bros. and not Warner Bros. Duh, winning! It's, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c'mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn't even trying. I wasn't even warm."
"I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."
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