First off, a few quick notes: 1) In case you missed it, I explained why I am going to have to streamline my posts going forward here, and 2) I need to give a huge shout-out to DarkUFO lurker Alex from Florida, who I ran into at the Oahu premiere. It was great to meet you! And stop lurking, girl!
Now, before we review the second hour of the "LA X," I wanted to revisit two things I mentioned in my Part 1 post:
1) Penny’s fate in the alternate timeline: I had pointed out that Desmond was wearing a wedding ring on Bizarro Flight 815, and speculated that he couldn’t be married to Penny because Widmore would’ve been killed when the Island was destroyed. But several of you reminded me that Penny was most likely already born by this point in time, as we know her mother was an off-Island “outsider.” Further, it looked like Penny was in her early 30s when she brought Little Charlie into the world in 2005 (which would be consistent with the theory that she was already safe and sound as an off-Island toddler in 1977). So there is a possibility that Des and Penny still ended up together in the Flash Sideways – but there’s also a chance that they never met because Widmore didn’t live to become a successful businessman with a penchant for Moriah wine from Desmond’s monastery. So I don’t think Penny would’ve met Des as he was packing up his robes and leaving the brothahood like she did in the original timeline.2) What sank the Island: It could’ve been Jughead’s detonation thanks to Juliet’s rock-banging efforts. But maybe Jughead didn’t even go off? Maybe Jacob being killed was what caused the remaining Lostaways to get flung through time to the present-day? Who knows. Some people think that since we heard one of the Dharma teachers mention a volcano in “The Man Behind the Curtain,” maybe Jughead caused an explosion deep in the core of the Island, and then that explosion did something to set off the volcano, and that’s what doomed our favorite rock? None of the possible explanations I can think of explain why the Barracks, a swing set, the sonic fence posts and even the remainder of the Tawaret statue would still be mostly intact, though. Doesn’t it seem like a nuclear bomb would’ve decimated everything… and a volcano would’ve turned the houses and the four-toed structure to ash? (By the way, if you're interested in whether or not Lost is actually sticking to real scientific theories as it proceeds boldly into multiverse territory, check out this Popular Mechanics article by my girl Erin McCarthy.)
OK, that’s enough looking backward… we must move on to the second hour, which began after that tearjerking scene where Depressed, Pathetic, But Alive Locke was wheeled off of the flight.
AIN’T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE’S GONE
While we didn’t have to watch Juliet die again in the second hour, we did have to endure her sad burial scene. I was like, “It’s about time!” when Sawyer demanded that Miles put his Sixth Sense Skillz to use and report back on her missing final words. Alas, more depressing stuff followed, because all Miles could hear was “It worked,” and Sawyer had no idea what that meant. But I’ll tell you what it meant: it meant that Juliet’s consciousness jumped over to the Alternate Timeline and she saw that her peeps never crashed on the Island. So she passed away at peace, knowing that – in some strange way – her bomb-blowing-up efforts were not in vain. I’m 72.5% sure that we’ll eventually see her on a coffee date with Sawyer in the Alternate Timeline, and she’ll suggest that they can go dutch on the bill. Then her seemingly incoherent babbling right before she died would not have been that incoherent at all. She wasn’t no fool!
SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE
While Sawyer and Miles were laying Juliet to rest, Jack, Kate, Hurley and Jin were trying to navigate a stretcher-bound, fading-fast Sayid down deep, dark holes and over giant crevasses in order to find whatever it was that Jacob believed could save him. We got to see the skeleton of poor Montand and reminisce about his infamous missing arm, and we all held our breath as each of the 815ers side-stepped around a gaping pit. Can I just ask what the point of that big hole in the ground was if no one was even going to do so much as slip? Sheesh.
Then Kate ran ahead, disappeared, and Jack busted after her – leaving Hurley, Jin and Mostly Dead Slightly Alive Sayid in the pitch-black caves. It didn’t take long for Jack to realize he’d made a mistake because Hurley started hollering and then his cries were muffled by someone… or something. Did you catch that little black shadow creature that ran behind Jack? If you did, then admit it – you were scared. I was definitely flipping out and thought, “YEP. They’re finally gonna do it. They are going there. THERE ARE GONNA BE ALIENS ON THIS SHOW.” The whole scene with all those weird noises and figures whipping around behind the Mad Doctor reminded me of when Joaquin Phoenix peered out of the window and caught a glimpse of that alien busting down the street in Signs (one of the only times I’ve ever jumped out of my seat in a movie theater).
Alas, there were no aliens. (Still not taking that possibility off of the table before the series is over, though.)
It was just the Others, back in their old-school garb – one was even rockin’ a purple-pink turban. I liked him the best.
NOW OVER AT THE TEMPLE
OH! THEY REALLY PACK ‘EM IN
I wasn’t very surprised by the towering temple, or by the fact that all of the Others (including Cindy and the kids) had been chillin’ there. After all, in late 2004, before anyone left the Island in the original timeline, Ben had instructed Alex and Rousseau to go join the Others at “The Temple”… but then Keamy’s team ambushed the newly reunited mother and daughter (and Karl) and, well, you know what happened next.I also had figured that in another ironic twist, Sayid would have to undergo the same treatment that Young Ben did when Richard took him to the Temple in an attempt to save him from Sayid’s assassination attempt.
But before the Others got around to helping the 815ers, they of course tried to kill them without asking hardly any questions first. Hurley, who’s been rising nicely to the occasion as the group’s new and most clear-headed leader, thought quickly and shouted, “Wait a second, dudes – Jacob sent me and he gave me that guitar case into which I may or may not have peeked.”I don’t know what I was expecting to see in the case (a guitar with special powers? a machine gun? an inflatable Charlie doll? buckets of Hurley’s secret sauce with which to win over the Others?), but it sure as hell wasn’t an ankh with one of Jacob’s list and/or some random note hidden inside.
According to the John Lennon-looking dude (whose official character name is actually Lennon – nice!), the note said that if Sayid dies, they’re all screwed.
WELL I LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER
Everyone tramped into the temple and it was noted that the miracle spring was not running clear. (To fans of DListed: I immediately thought, “Somethin’ in the milk ain’t clean!”) The grouchy Japanese dude who seemed to be the Others’ boss cut his hand and was dismayed to see that the waters didn’t heal him back up. That’s when he let the 815ers know that there’d be “risks” to trying to save/drown Sayid. But there really wasn’t any choice, was there? I didn’t like watching them save/drown He of the Black Tank Tops at all. But I knew knew KNEW that there was no way Sayid was gonna go out like that. Death by drowning? Um, no… sorry. Nameless chick from Season One and our dear Darth Hoodie already had that honor.But for a while we had to wait while a lifeless Sayid dried out on the ground (did you notice how Jesus-like he looked when they were carrying him out of the water?) and everyone else gazed wide-eyed at each other in shock. MajorlyPissedOff Sawyer and Miles had also been captured and brought to the spring area by this time.
Hurley wasn’t about to sit around and do nothing, so he found Cranky Japanese Guy (whose name is apparently “Dogen”) and was observant enough to realize that this fool actually understood English. Dogen understood English but was a big snobby brat about it and wanted everyone to just leave him alone so he could continue making like Mr. Miyagi with his bonsai tree-trimming.But then Hurley dropped the bomb that Jacob had been defeated, and that totally sent the Others into chickens-with-heads-cut-off mode, running around the Temple setting up flare-shooters and sprinkling ash every which way but loose. Lennon explained that the ash was to keep “him” out.
ASHES TO ASHES
FUNK TO FUNKY
So let’s pause for a moment and discuss two big mysteries:
1) At what point did the Temple stop being Smokey’s Playground? When Richard took Young Ben there to be healed in the late ‘70s, we didn’t see any wisps of dark clouds hangin’ around. But Smokey was lurking around those parts in 1988 when the French team had their unfortunate encounter with him. Remember that Rousseau’s partner, Robert, and a few others actually climbed down into the hole after Smokey and armless Montand, only to come out “changed”… or “sick.” Sick enough for Rousseau to have no choice but to kill them all weeks later. And Smokey was definitely there in 2004 when Ben summoned him to give Keamy’s team a spanking… and again in late 2007/early 2008 when Fake Locke led Ben to the underground chamber to be judged. So what exactly is the connection between Smokey and the Temple, and if Smokey and the Man in Black are indeed one in the same, why haven’t the Others had a ring of ash around their hideout this entire time? Were they just relying on Jacob to keep the peace? Was Smokey unable to hurt them as long as Jacob was around? I think that might have been what was going on.
2) So let’s just run with the notion that the Others had no real reason to be scared of Smokey until Jacob was no longer able to protect them. Smokey could kill or scare the crap out of anyone else who came to the Island, but the Others were off-limits while Jacob reigned. What does that mean for Jacob’s cabin and the broken circle of ash there that Ilana noticed? Was Jacob originally in that cabin, admiring his bloodhound oil painting and reveling in his lack of modern-day gadgets and enjoying a stress-free existence because he knew that the circle of ash was keeping his nemesis away? Or was it the Man in Black who was being kept hostage in the cabin for some time, and unable to escape because of the circle of ash? I could go either way on this one – there’s evidence for both scenarios. As I can only assume that we’re going to keep learning more and more about the Man in Black/Fake Locke, his relationship to Smokey and his ability to take other forms, I will let these questions rest for now.
But I’ll leave you all to ponder this: below is a screencap from Season 3’s “The Man Behind the Curtain.” In that episode, Ben is shown stepping carefully over the ash. However, to me it looks like the ash is already broken in an area to the left of where Ben’s shadow falls. There are a lot of dark spots in this shot so maybe it’s just an issue with the lighting situation, but it got me wondering not only who broke the circle of ash, but when… and, of course, why.
AND I’M A CHANGED MAN
I’VE BEEN BAPTIZED
AND I’M A CHANGED MAN
I’M A BRAND NEW GUY
The Others were in full-out panic mode with their ashing and flaring, and John Lennon did NOT give peace a chance when he threatened Jack about the need for them to have a private chat. Jack’s all, “You can’t make me!!!” and John Lennon’s all, “Imagine… my fist in your face!” but then we never got to see that situation play out (or learn what Lennon needed to discuss) because – AS WE ALL KNEW in our heart of hearts (especially since Miles was acting suspicious in a I-Can’t-Hear-This-Dead-Person way) – Sayid teetered onto his elbow like a collapsed drunk and said, “I’m back, suckas!”For the record, even though only 1% of me was afraid that he was really dead, I was still happy to have even that little bit of doubt removed. As far as I’m concerned, Sayid’s safe for the rest of the series (am I being naïve?), though he’s clearly got some sort of Otherness running through his veins now. One theory is that Jacob has possessed Sayid. Another is that a Bit o’ Jacob is in ALL of the 815ers that were visited by him in the past, meaning that if any one of them dies, his full power couldn’t be unleashed and/or he could never be resurrected. Kind of like the whole Horcrux situation in the Harry Potter books. Kind of.
Either way, Sayid’s back and he better be able to still kick butt and take names. That’s all I ask. That, and that Yoko Ono doesn’t show up. If that happens then I WILL stop watching.
SOUL LIKE A LUCIFER
BLACK AND COLD LIKE A PIECE OF LEAD
MISGUIDED ANGEL
LOVE YOU ‘TIL I’M DEAD
Elsewhere on the Island, Ben’s mind was whirling from the realization that Locke wasn’t really Locke, and that this Fake Locke and Smokey were one in the same. I know some people out there still doubt this, but once again I urge you to consider the fact that there are just 16 hours remaining in this show. When there is dialogue like this…
BEN: What are you?
LOCKE: Wh.. I'm not a what Ben, I'm a who.
BEN: You're the monster.
LOCKE: Let's not resort to name-calling.
… It’s meant to clear things up for the not-so-hardcore fans. It’s an answer, people! I know they’re hard to recognize after going so long without any… but I want you to take it and put it under your pillow and kiss it goodnight tonight. Because IT IS a blessed answer!!!
Then Fake Locke went on to give an awful (OK, it was amazing, but you know what I mean) speech about how sad and pathetic Real Locke was in his dying moments. I could barely stand to think about it. And I’ll be damned if I could get THIS evil face out of my mind that night. YEEK!!!
Fake Locke wrapped up his conversation with Ben by stating that all he wanted to do was go home. Now, at the start of my Season Five finale post, I talked about the possibility of Jacob and the Man in Black being some kind of fallen angels, like in the movie Dogma. I didn’t think the writers would actually go that route, but now I’m starting to reconsider this theory. I mean, where else would “home” be for the Man in Black besides either Heaven or Hell? What, you think he’s from Jersey or something? Come on.
Once Fake Locke emerged from the statue, Richard was quick to realize what was going on and warned everyone not to open fire on the masquerading baddie. He knew that the bullets would just ricochet off of him (that’s a sweet superpower, by the way). He also figured out that Fake Locke was the Man in Black, whom he must have tussled with waaaaaay back in the day, because he was like “Oh no, not YOU again!” before being knocked out cold. Fake Locke’s mention of seeing Richard “without his chains” was probably meant to be a confirmation that Richard originally came to the Island on the Black Rock, which, as you may remember, was a slaving ship.Next, Fake Locke flipped the Ageless one over his shoulder (just like Real Locke did with his dead daddy-in-a-bag back in “The Brig”) and then scolded the Others on the beach for reasons I didn’t really understand. What did they do that was so wrong except traipse all over the Island following him? I don’t get it.
There you have it for the Island events. Not nearly as much happened in the Alternate Timeline in hour two.
HELP
I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN
I HAVE BEEN HERE
MANY TIMES BEFORE
So the America’s Most Wanted clip about Kate that was shown at Comic-Con panned out. She did escape the marshal’s custody once again, with a little help from none other than Sawyer (and no thanks to a snippy Frogurt in the cab line). The biggest reveal in Kate’s scenes, though, was of course the fact that the taxi she jumped into already had a passenger—Claire. Now, I haven’t been able to watch this part of the show again, but I definitely didn’t see any obvious (meaning, visible without pausing the frame) signs that Claire was or was not pregnant. I’m sure you’ll all tell me if I missed something there. Either way, it’s clear that even though Claire wasn’t shown on the Oceanic flight, she was in fact on it. Now we just need to know if her reason for flying from Australia is the same as it was before.LET’S FLIP THE TRACK
BRING THE OLD SCHOOL BACK
Kate wasn’t the only one having problems leaving LAX. Jin and Sun were detained because he didn’t fill out the freakin’ customs form correctly, and the security peeps went on to find a stash o’ cash in his luggage. I’m so not enjoying the experience of watching Mean Jin again, I tell ya. He’s up to his old shady tricks and it sucks. At least Sun (who was curiously referred to by her maiden name, “Ms. Paik” – I failed to catch whether she was wearing a wedding ring, so maybe they’re not even married?) kept up her no-English-speaking charade and didn’t come to Jin’s rescue like she easily could’ve. Let the defiance begin!
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY
THIS SH!T IS BANANAS
B – A – N – A – N – A – S
I don’t like to swear too much in these recaps, but I just couldn’t help myself with the heading above because it sums up my reaction to the final scene between Jack and Locke. But before I get to that, two points of weirdness: 1) Christian’s coffin – GONE! and 2) Locke’s knives – GONE! Christian’s destiny was to NOT be buried, I guess. No idea what’s going on with the missing knives. They were probably just an excuse for the writers to bring Jack and Locke together in the airport. But I’m sure something more is going on with the MIA coffin.
You already know how much the end of Part 1 (with Locke being wheeled off the flight) depressed the hell out of me and made me cry, so I was thankful that this last Flash Sideways scene of Part 2 provided such a lift -- such… HOPE. I wasn’t sure I was diggin’ the whole Alternate Timeline thing until this scene. But if Jack is able to “fix” Locke and Locke ends up able to finally go on his walkabout and live out a happy life in the real world, then you can count me among those who would be satisfied with that outcome for my favorite character (though let’s be clear – I’d still prefer to see him running around alive and well on the Island, but, as the Stones said best, you can’t always get what you want).I’ll leave you with my favorite line of the second hour, courtesy of Jack:
“Nothing is irreversible.”
LOVE IT. All around, an extraordinary premiere – wouldn’t you agree?
Until next time,
- e
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