Charlie Sheen Moves To Trademark 22 of His Classic Sayings

We love living in a country that is founded on pure capitalism, and apparently, so does Charlie Sheen.

In a classic move that can only portend to a great future of products, some that may radically change the world as we know it, Charlie Sheen has moved to trademark over twenty of his most famous catch-phrases.

And if we’re lucky, someday we may all be able to eat, drink, wear, listen, sleep, workout, poop, and watch something branded with the red-hot irony that is Charlie Sheen.

Here is a partial list as we have it so far:

Adonis DNA, Duh, Winning, Vatican Assassin, Tiger Blood Rock Star from Mars, Sheen’s Goddesses, “I’m not bi-polar, I am winning”, Violent Torpedo of Truth, Defeat is Not an Option, Sober Valley Lodge, and Sheen’s Goddesses.

Official records show a California company formed just last month and calling themselves “Hyro-gliff” filed multiple trademark applications in March 2011. The filings show the company address as the offices of Sheen’s attorney, Marty Singer.

But there is already plenty of competition. Two other companies are seeking the trademark to “Adonis DNA”, “Winning!” and “Tiger Blood.” The suggested uses range from a clothing line to nutritional supplements.

The filings do not guarantee that any of the products will ever be made, but if approved they will protect Sheen's name and interests from anybody who tries to make products from his sayings.

Uncle Charley has already been selling T-shirts and other merchandise on his website and at his live shows using some of the phrases. That would give him an advantage in claiming trademark rights, said an attorney.

It could take a year or more for the government to register the trademarks, but the fact that he is selling merchandise with the phrases protects his interests. He will have a much stronger claim to those trademark rights than any third party.

What is your favorite Sheen-ism?

Charlie Sheen’s Chicago Show Improves – Fans Don’t Boo and Walk Out – Review

Well, it looks like Charlie Sheen is batting zero these days.

His live “Torpedo of Truth Defeat is Not an Option” show in Chicago Sunday night was almost as bad as his debut show in Detroit on Saturday night.

Once again, fans listened to stories about smoking pot and partying with rock stars but tonight Sheen took questions from an onstage interviewer, and there was more structure then last night.

He talked about spending millions on prostitutes and smoked cigarettes profusely the entire show. He also said he could see a time when he returned to Two and a Half Men. Yea right.

All-in-all, it seemed to be a better show than last night. There was no booing, hissing, fighting, and yelling like in Detroit.

Related: Charlie Sheen’s First Live Show BOMBS Big Time – Crowd Boos Through Entire Show. Review

One unhappy fan related:

“It was not that funny. Chicago is known for some of the best comedy and Improv in the country and this was just an insult to our city”

The show appeared to have changed somewhat from last night in Detroit, and there were subtle attempts to remove things that enraged the audience the night before. Like no opening stand up comedy act.

But in the end, it was Charlie Sheen on stage in front of 3,600 booing audience members listening to him ramble on about tiger blood, winning, Adonis DNA, trolls, Vatican assigns, crack cocaine, whores, and partying.

After the show, Sheen took to his Twitter account saying:

"#TruthTorpedo hello windy city..!!! Thank you for the HERO's welcome!! I'll bring it... c"

This is actually a little eerie as things are progressing just as we suspected they would last week when we contemplated what Sheen might have up his sleeve.

Related: Critics Worry about Charlie Sheen's Upcoming 'My Violent Torpedo of Truth' Live Shows – Is He Ready?

What Is The End Game?

Unfortunately, we now have to ask “What’s next for Charlie?”

Does he finish his remaining 18 live shows?
Does he bail out and walk away from the whole mess?
Can he get out without being sued by a 1000 people?
Does he, can he, go back to Two and a Half Men?
Will he end up in the hospital?
Will he even make it out alive?

We don’t see ANY WAY he can complete his commitment for the remaining shows.

In fact, we suspect he will end up in the hospital fairly soon with a standard case of super-secret “Charlie-itis” that will prevent him (and give him an excuse) from going on.

If he falls off the wagon and starts smoking crack or doing meth again – this will just hasten his trip to the emergency room.

TicketMaster and LiveNation have made it clear however (in the fine print on tickets) that NO REFUNDS will be given unless Sheen is unable to reschedule another show within a year.

Good luck with that.

But what about the press?

Sheen absolutely must be gearing up for the barrage of press that is going to hit Monday during the prime-time news cycles. Every station in every city is going to be running “Sheen Bombs” stories – including CNN, Fox News, Good Morning America, The Today Show, and countless others.

And what about websites like TMZ? They are going to have a field day with all this and it will only ramp up as the week progresses.

At some point, Sheen himself will have to come forward and personally address how he thinks things are going.

It will be brutal to watch. A full-blown break down or melt down cannot be too far off in the distance. Then maybe he can get the help he really needs.